Have you ever scrolled through social media, seen someone your age celebrating a new job, starting a business, or travelling somewhere exciting, and thought, “When will it be my turn?”
You’re happy for them, of course, but somewhere in the back of your mind, you start wondering why your own life doesn’t seem to be moving at the same speed. You think about the opportunities you haven’t had, the goals you haven’t reached, and all the things you thought you’d have figured out by now, and before you know it, you feel behind.
If you’ve ever felt like this, you’re certainly not alone. It’s easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing, especially when their best moments keep appearing on your phone. What we don’t always realise is how much we’re overlooking in our own lives while we’re busy watching theirs. That’s where gratitude comes in.
Now, before you roll your eyes, gratitude isn’t about pretending everything is fine when it isn’t. It doesn’t mean you should stop wanting more for yourself or settle for less than you deserve. It’s simply about noticing the good things in your life, even while you’re working towards something better.
At Proudtobeme , we work with young people who often feel exactly like this. Through our programmes and Upcoming Workshops , we help them recognise their own progress and build on what they already have.
Let’s Talk About Aisha
Aisha was 22 and had plenty of plans for her future. She wanted to graduate with good grades, find a job she enjoyed and eventually start her own creative business. She had ideas, ambition and the willingness to put in the work, but lately, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she wasn’t doing enough.
It seemed as though everyone around her was moving forward. Her friends were getting internships, sharing exciting career news and travelling to places she’d only seen online. One had started a business, while another had landed a graduate job. Aisha was genuinely pleased for them, but each announcement made her think about what she hadn’t achieved.
She had applied for several opportunities and received rejection after rejection. Her business idea was still sitting in the notes app on her phone. Some days, she wondered whether she was actually making any progress at all. Then something quite ordinary happened.
One afternoon, her younger sister asked her to help with a presentation. Aisha spent an hour helping her organise her ideas, work out what to say and feel more confident about speaking in front of people. When they finished, her sister looked at her and said, “You’re really good at explaining things. I wish I could do that.”
Aisha laughed, but the comment remained with her.
She had spent so much time thinking about what she couldn’t do that she’d barely noticed something she was actually good at. That evening, she decided to write down three things she appreciated: her education, her family’s support and the fact that she was still trying, even after facing rejection.
Over the next few days, she added more. Her creativity, communication skills and the progress she’d made with her business idea. None of her circumstances had suddenly changed, but she was starting to see herself differently, and that was a good place to start.
Perhaps you can relate to Aisha. Maybe you’ve been so focused on what you haven’t achieved that you’ve forgotten to recognise what you have. Or perhaps you keep telling yourself you’ll be proud when you finally reach a particular goal.
What if you gave yourself a little credit now? What if you stopped for a moment and recognised that your journey is still worth appreciating, even if you’re not where you hoped to be?
So, What Does Gratitude Actually Mean?
Put simply, gratitude is about noticing something good and appreciating it. It could be a friend who checks in on you, a lecturer who encourages you, an opportunity to learn something new, or even getting through a particularly difficult day.
It doesn’t have to be a big achievement. Sometimes, the little things we barely notice make a difference.
Research supports it, too. In a 2003 study, psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough asked participants to regularly write down things they were grateful for. Those who practised gratitude reported improvements in several areas of wellbeing, including more positive feelings about their lives.
More recently, Kirca, Malouff and Meynadier (2023) reviewed 25 studies involving 6,745 participants. They found that gratitude activities had a small but statistically significant positive effect on psychological well-being when compared with neutral activities.
Of course, this doesn’t mean writing in a gratitude journal will suddenly make all your problems disappear. Life doesn’t work like that. You can appreciate your family and still have difficult days at home. You can be thankful for your education and still want better opportunities. You can believe in yourself and still feel disappointed when something doesn’t work out.
Both things can be true.
The point isn’t to ignore what’s difficult. It’s to stop the difficult things from taking up so much space that you forget everything else.
Five Ways Gratitude Can Change How You See Your Life
1. You Start Noticing the Things That Are Already Going Well
How often do you finish a day thinking about everything that went wrong? Maybe you missed the bus, didn’t finish an assignment or had an awkward conversation. Those moments can stay in your head for hours. But what about the friend who made you laugh? The new thing you learnt? The task you finally got around to completing?
We don’t always give these moments the attention they deserve.
It’s easy to keep telling yourself, “I’ll be happy when I graduate,” “I’ll feel successful when I get a job” or “I’ll be proud of myself when I start earning more.” There’s nothing wrong with having goals. The problem is when you make your happiness depend entirely on reaching the next one.
Try this tonight: Before you go to bed, write down three things you appreciated about your day. Don’t worry about making them sound impressive. It could be that someone made you smile, you managed to get out of bed on a difficult morning, or you finally understood something you’d been struggling with.
2. You Stop Letting Other People’s Progress Make You Feel Behind
This one is worth talking about because comparison can quietly take the enjoyment out of so many things.
You see someone announce a new job, and suddenly you’re questioning your career choices. A friend shares news about their business, and you start wondering why you haven’t started yours. Someone posts holiday photos, and you start thinking about all the places you haven’t visited.
Sound familiar?
The trouble with social media is that you usually see the announcement, not the journey behind it. You don’t see every rejection, sleepless night, difficult decision or moment when that person wondered whether things would work out. You’re seeing a small part of their life and comparing it with everything happening in yours.
That’s hardly a fair comparison, is it?
Gratitude helps you bring your attention back to your own journey. You can be happy for your friend without feeling that their success means you’ve failed. You can admire what someone else has achieved and still appreciate the steps you’re taking.
The next time you start thinking that everyone is doing better than you, read through it. You might realise you’ve been making more progress than you gave yourself credit for.
3. You Become Better at Appreciating the People Around You
Take a moment to think about the people who have helped you along the way. Maybe it’s a parent who keeps encouraging you, a friend who listens when you need to talk, a teacher who believed in you or a mentor who gave you advice when you weren’t sure what to do next.
How often do you actually tell these people that you appreciate them?
Sometimes, we get so used to having people around that we forget to acknowledge the little things they do. A quick phone call, a thoughtful message or someone taking the time to listen might seem ordinary, but it can mean a lot.
Showing appreciation doesn’t have to be complicated. You don’t need to buy a gift or write a long speech. A simple message saying, “Thank you for being there for me when I needed someone to talk to,” is more than enough.
Research also supports the value of gratitude activities that involve expressing appreciation to other people. The 2023 review by Kirca and colleagues found a small positive effect on psychological well-being across the studies they examined.
Don’t wait for a birthday, Christmas or another special occasion. You can say thank you simply because you mean it.
4. You Learn Not to Let One Setback Define You
Nobody likes rejection. Whether it’s an unsuccessful job application, a business idea that doesn’t take off or an exam result that isn’t what you hoped for, disappointment can really knock your confidence.
When you’re already worried about your future, one setback can quickly turn into a much bigger question: Am I actually good enough?
Gratitude won’t make rejection feel pleasant, and it shouldn’t. You don’t have to pretend you’re happy about something that has upset you. Sometimes, you need to be disappointed. You might need to talk to someone, take a break or give yourself time to work through what happened. But when you’re ready, try looking at the bigger picture.
Next time something doesn’t go to plan, ask yourself two questions:
- What, if anything, have I learned from this experience?
- What or who helped me get through it?
You don’t have to find a positive lesson in every difficult situation. Just try not to let one disappointment convince you that your whole story is going wrong.
If you have ever struggled to bounce back after a setback, our reflection on Learning from Failure might help.
5. You Start Giving Yourself the Credit You Deserve
When was the last time you genuinely felt proud of yourself?
Not because someone praised you, gave you an award or posted about your achievement. Just because you knew you’d put in the effort and done something well.
We can be surprisingly quick to recognise other people’s strengths and dismiss our own. We tell ourselves our achievements were down to luck, focus on what we could have done better or move straight on to the next task without stopping to appreciate what we’ve accomplished.
After a while, it’s easy to forget how much we actually have to offer.
Gratitude isn’t only about appreciating other people or the things around you. It’s about recognising yourself, too. The effort you’ve made, the challenges you’ve faced and the skills you’ve picked up along the way all deserve some attention.
Write down three things you genuinely like about yourself. Don’t worry about whether they’d look impressive on a CV. Maybe you’re creative, patient, a good listener or someone who keeps trying even when things get difficult. Now, next to each one, write down one way you could use that strength.
Want to Try It? Here’s a Simple Seven-Day Gratitude Challenge
It’s one thing to read about gratitude, but quite another to make it part of your everyday life. The good news is that you don’t need a special journal, an expensive planner or loads of free time. A few minutes each day is enough to get started.
Why not give yourself seven days and see how it goes?
- Day 1 – Notice: Write down three things you appreciated today, no matter how small.
- Day 2 – Say thank you: Message someone who has helped, encouraged or supported you.
- Day 3 – Appreciate yourself: Write down three things you like or value about yourself.
- Day 4 – Look back: Think of one thing you can do now that you struggled with a year ago.
- Day 5 – Reflect: Think about a difficult experience. What helped you through it?
- Day 6 – Slow down: Spend a few minutes enjoying something without checking your phone or rushing off to the next thing.
- Day 7 – Take action: Choose one strength or opportunity you’re grateful for and think about how you can use it towards a goal.
At the end of the week, have a look at what you’ve written. Did you keep thinking about the same person? Did you notice a strength you’d forgotten you had? Was there a small moment that made you happier than you expected?
You might not feel like a completely different person after seven days, and that’s perfectly fine. This isn’t another challenge you need to complete perfectly. It’s simply a chance to pay a little more attention to the good things that are already part of your life.
How Proudtobeme Helps Young People Recognise Their Value
At Proudtobeme , we meet young people with ideas, ambitions and so much potential, but we also understand that recognising what you’re capable of isn’t always easy. Sometimes, you need someone to encourage you. Sometimes, you need the chance to try something new. And sometimes, you just need a space where you can learn without feeling that you have to get everything right the first time.
That’s why we believe confidence should come with opportunities to grow.
Through our programmes, workshops, mentoring and skills-development activities, we support young people to develop in areas such as leadership, creativity, entrepreneurship, employability and digital skills. It’s about helping them discover what they’re good at, build on those strengths and feel more prepared to take their next steps.
You can learn more about our approach on our About Us page, explore our programmes and projects , or read more stories on our Blogs page.
Through our ILM Courses , young people gain accredited qualifications in leadership and self-management, helping them build the confidence and skills to take charge of their own futures.
Gratitude can help you recognise the skills, experiences and support you already have, but what happens next matters, too. How can you develop those skills? Where can you put your ideas into practice? Who can help you take that next step?
That’s where learning, encouragement and the right opportunities can make a real difference.
If you are a young person ready to take that next step, you can join our Upcoming Workshops or explore our ILM Courses .
If you are an organisation or individual who wants to support young people, you can Get Involved or contact us to learn more about partnerships and opportunities.
We want young people to recognise their value, discover their strengths and have the confidence and skills to shape their futures. And if there’s one thing we’d like you to take away from this article, it’s this: you may not be where you want to be yet, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t come a long way.
Email: admin@proudtobeme.org
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Website: proudtobeme.org
