Imagine this: you are 18 years old, excited about furthering your education and are just beginning to taste freedom, plan your future, and dream big. Then, one day, your parents sit you down and drop a bombshell: they have found someone for you to marry. Not a suggestion, but a decision, leaving you with no time to get to know this person, and, most importantly, make a choice.
This might sound like a scene from a movie, but for millions of young people, this is a reality.
In 2009, a former governor of Zamfara State in Nigeria, Senator Ahmed Sani Yerima, was accused of marrying a 13-year-old Egyptian girl. This marriage sparked controversy due to Nigeria’s Child Rights Act of 2003, which prohibits marriage with anyone under 18.
What is Forced Marriage?
I want to clarify that a forced marriage is not the same as an arranged marriage. In arranged marriages, both parties consent to the union, but in a forced marriage, however, one or both individuals are coerced into marrying against their will.
I remember a conversation I had with a friend from secondary school. Let us call her Zara. We lost touch shortly after graduation, but I saw her at a mutual friend’s wedding recently. I remember her parents had arranged her marriage to a man twice her age, to offset a loan and she had no say in it, unfortunately.
Forced marriage is not peculiar to a culture or tribe. It happens everywhere, from rural villages to modern cities. For most communities, it is usually a financial transaction, to settle debts while for others it is to gain status in society. Girls as young as 12 or 13—are married off to older men, robbing them of their childhood, education, and independence.
The Consequences of Forced Marriage
The impacts of forced marriage go beyond just unhappiness. People in forced marriages suffer from severe mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. The stress of living with someone you did not choose, often someone much older and in control, can be depressing.
Women and girls equally face heightened risks of domestic violence and sexual abuse in forced marriages. They also find themselves cut off from education or career opportunities, limiting their chances to be financially independent.
What Can Be Done?
The fight against forced marriage is a global one, and many organizations are stepping up to provide resources and support for victims. Here are a few ways to combat forced marriage:
1. Education: Raising awareness about the signs of forced marriage can help prevent it. Young people need to know their rights.
2. Support Networks: Building communities of support can give them a way out.
3. Legal Protection: The government at all levels needs to create and enforce laws that not only protect victims but also prosecute those who force others into marriage.
4. Empowering the Youth: One of the biggest weapons against forced marriage is empowering young people, especially girls, to have a voice in their future.
Proudtobeme is equipping young people to make informed decisions about their lives and future and is thereby combating forced marriage.
Forced marriage is not a thing of the past like we may assume it to be. It is happening right now, in neighbourhoods and countries.
Facing a similar challenge?
If you or someone you know is at risk of being forced into a marriage, know that organizations just like Proudtobeme are willing to help. Whether seeking legal advice, finding a safe place to stay, or just talking to someone who will listen, we are here for you.
At Proudtobeme, we are committed to breaking the silence on forced marriage and empowering you to take control. Email us at admin@proudtobeme.org.